Carpal Tunnel of Life

end of 4th year...the begining of disasterous final year

2009-06-10T16:23:00.002+08:00

dekita...dekita...atashi no saite no final year life as dental year....A whole year of mental torment...wahh...berdebar2 nye jantung...kene prep mental btol2...

My last year as dental 4th year...banyak sgt nak cerita...tp everything was sooo chalanging...i always felt that i wont finish it...Alhamdullillah...semuanye berjalan lancar...

Buat kak fiza ...ehh...Dr Hafizah!

2009-05-03T00:39:00.002+08:00

Okayhh dengan berbesar atinye, ara kali nih nk ucapkan segununggggg laut malah langit tahniahhh kepada Dr Hafizah, roomate Ema yg telah berjaye meletakkn gelaran Dr kt pngkal name nye...tahniah tahniah

Menggenali kak fizah ni sejak dr 3 rd year lagi..mase kenal nih, mmng dah tahu dah kak fiza ni confirm jd dr...eceyhh

nmpak mcm relexs, tp jauh disudut ati, ku dapat merasekn setiap hari pon kak fiza trying her best achiving her dream...bukan senang woo nak jd dr nih...mengalir ayak mata darah pon ramei lg yg tak pas2...dah beranak bini pn ramai je yg sangkut

Fuih, mase kate tahniah kt dia tuh, ara sendiri sebenarnye me'wish' diriku sendiri se'strong' kak fiza...supaye dpt grad as expected....kak fiza, doakan kami...

Utk kak fizah, klu bc post ni, we all wish you the best in life from the beginign to the end...insyaallah resmi pekerjaan kite ni tambah skit je niat yg baik, Allah perceive as pahala...Gambare yooo kak fizah...Kami mendoakan jalan2 lurus yg Allah berkati dan smoga dipermudahkan mase jd HO nnt....

Ara bangga mengenali seorang insan bername KAK FIZA...

Meh wat rombongan g tower ni yok!

2009-04-30T00:35:00.010+08:00

isk tak nak gue...klu bg tiket free pegi la kot tp tengok je la pastu tolong gelakkn xpressi wajah2 yg mcm kene jemput malaikat maut tuh!!! fuyyoo

Ni sebenarnye ialah kt Los Angeles bukan kt Malaysia eh..tu yg ade gambo mat saleh tak tkut mati dok trcongok tuh...

Dare to die....life is once mann

Citer lawak usna utk dikongsi : Beza TNB dgn LILIN

2009-04-30T00:32:00.002+08:00

Perbezaan TNB dgn LILIN??Sepasang pengantin yang baru berkahwin 4 bulan. pada suatu malamsi isteri memeluk leher suami dengan nada manja seraya berkata, "ayang,period i dah lewat sebulan, tapi i tak boleh nak pastikan lagi sebab kita kenagi check kat doktor."Si suami yang teramat gembira tu pun berpakat dengan isterinya untuk tidakmemberitahu sesiapa pun tentang perkhabaran gumbira ini sehingga ianyabenar2 pasti.

Pada suatu hari, pasangan ini di datangi oleh pegawai dari TNB keranaterdapat tunggakkan dalam pembayaran bill elektrik rumah mereka. PegawaiTNB tu pun berkata "ini rumah En. Mahpus ker?" "iya, saya ni isterinya. ada apa encik"Pegawai TNB tu pun berkata, "Puan, ni dah sebulan lewat, saya dah takboleh tunggu ni, nanti boss saya marah.

"Dengan nada terkejut, si isteri itu pun membalas balik cakap pegawai TNB tu. "APA??? Macam mana pulak encik tahu yg saya ni sebulan lewat???"Pegawai TNB tu pun dengan selamb a menjawab "ala puan, ni kan zaman IT,semua tu ada dalam komputer dan kita boleh check Online" Kata-kata pegawai TNB tu membuatkan si isteri tu lagi terkejut."APAAA????Saya lewat sebulan pun awak semua boleh tahuuu???"Pegawai TNB tu pun mententeramkan keadaan "Relek puan, puan nibaru lewat sebulan, ada yg lagi teruk, lewat 5-6 bulan" Si isteri yg terperanjat beruk dengan kenyataan pegawai tu pun berkata,nanti saya bincang dengan suami saya..lalu pegawai TNB tu pun beredar darisitu..

Keesokkan harinya, selepas si Mahpus ini di beritahu oleh isterinya, dia pun naik berang dan terus ambik cuti dan pergi ke kedai TNB yg berdekatan..Dengan tanpa menghiraukan pegawai-pegawai TNB yg ramai di situ, dia punmemekik seraya berkata"Apa korang ni, isteri saya sebulan lewat pun nak heboh2 ke dalam internet. awak ni semua yg berkeluarga tak pernah lewat sebulankerrrr????!! bisness apa korang buat niii?? nak kena saman kerr???

Lalu pegawai yg datang kerumah si Mahphus ni berdiri danmententeramkankeadaan. "sabar encik, sabar encik. apa susah, kalau cik nak settlekanperkara ni, bayar je..." kata-kata pegawai TNB tu membuatkan siMahpus naik berang."APAAA?? nak bayar korang? belahhhh lahh...." Lalu pegawai TNB tu pun cakap "kalau macam tu, Kita terpaksa potongencik punya............"Si Mahpus mencelah "apa??? potong??? abih tu isteri saya di rumah nak pakaiapaaaaaa???"Pegawai TNB tu pun cakap " nampak gayanye..ISTERI ENCIK KENA PAKAI LILIN AJERRRLAAAAAAAA...."

haha...tq usna...

projek multimedia kami!

2009-04-27T16:42:00.002+08:00

the current me!huhu...

cerita ceritun-versi melayu

2009-04-24T02:51:00.010+08:00

Di sebuah blik yg sepi, seorang gadis dilihat dgn tekunnye berteleku dia atas meja….menikamti mammee yang klu tak silap macm dah kembang dah…besame2 rutine manual Nescafe nye untuk bekalan berjage dimlm kang…

Disudut bilik itu, sebuah katil usnag dua tingkat yang menajdi kamar beristirehat beliau keihatanbegitu naïf dna daif skali…cadar biru becorak bulan dan bintng itu kusam tak ditukar sejak sebulan yg lalu. dikepale katil itu, segunung baju yg sudah dibasuh kelihatn bergumpal-gumpal tidak dilipat turut bercampur dgn selimut yg tak dilipat …mcm dua ari je tak lipat…

dihujung satu lagi, 2 buah buku pediatric dentistry setiap satunye setebal 2 – 2 stg inchi dilihat separuh terbuka…sejuk tak dibace2 jgk.

Sebuah bakul biru cair dibawah katil itu mula menunjukkn sifat2 keterbatasan nye ataupun sign of limitation…dg nisi baju2 yg tidak berbasuh selame semigggu itu, bakul itu pun berkate “ iskk…dah penuh melimpah ruah aku nih, still nk sumbat lagi ke?” namun, tidaklah terdengar akan tuannye isi hati si bakul biru itu yang dikala ini tekun menghadap lap topnye. Bekas mammie nye ditolak ketepi blom berbasuh.

Kadangkala, gadis itu berkerut2, kadangkala bersandar seperti berfirkir “ amende la bende ni”. Malangye, tiade siape yg boleh menjwb soaln itu kerane ia hanye bermain di kotak fikiran beliau…Kerusi yg diduduki itu berkriut kriut mennunjukkn btape bliau seperti cacing

yng panas akibt tak mandi lg… Meja selebar 1 meter setengah itu sepeti tak cukup besarnye. Mane taknye, sume buku2 beliau di tingkat2 menjadi banjaran yang tak kalah sekire ye nk dibndingkn dgn bnjrn Himalayah…

Beginilah rutin harian baru seorng gadis yg dulunye brcite2 besar nk jd doctor la konon., tp akibat sifat malas yg mneguasai diri ketika masih kecil sebesr ibujari lg, dia amekla dr gigi…ingatkn senang skitt….

Mungkinkah begini kesudahan hidup si gadis ini? Mungkinkah beliau memang begini atau apakah yang telah membebani perasaan beliau? Persoalanye, mampukan beliau berubah kesediakala sekiranye retrospective study yg bakal dilakukan menunjukkan beliau sebenarnye seorng gadis sejati?

Sebenarnye gadis ni orng nye korang kenal sgt la…tp bukan ape! Rase cam 24 jam sehari tu tak cukup btol..klu la ade ability cam naruto bole wat ‘kage bunshin no jutsu’ fuihh mmng power la, satu badan dok sini buat proposal research, satu lg pegi mandi pastu basuh baju ke, satu lagi pegi klinik deal ngan patient, satu lg plak recharge life battery yg asik merah jeee….mudah2! tp reality nye naruto tu anime je…da lame tk tgk naruto

Byng kan la, da ujung2 thun 4 ni yg spatut nye sibuk study tuk final exam, boleh plak baru nk present research proposal, pastu dgn report posting, CA each posting yg spatutnye middle sem arituh, nk kejar lg requirement yg tak abis2 nih, oooo tak trmasuk plak lab punye keje yg mcm sendiri je kene wat dr mule smpai abis…perghh rase cam tak leh nk cope da…

Tp ni reality hidup la…mmng dr dulu da tahu…nk berjaye mesti kene brkorban..mane boleh senang2 je dpt….kate dr wan “cabaran ni ibarat gunung, bile da nmpk gunung@ bukit kan, nk toleh balik ke? Nk panjat? Klu jatuh, nk panjat balik ke putus asa? Persoalanye, bile nk cross gunung tu klu tak panjat?

Tapi org yg paling kuat sebenarnye ialah org yg keep on panjt gunung tuh,, pastu siap trgolek dog lg jatuh, berguling2 cam tayr kete kn tp still bangun, sapu punggung dia and panjat balikk…

Hopefully kite jadi camtuh…barulah life yg singkt ni seem to be bermakne!! Adios

EPISODE 1: No tittle

2009-04-04T11:34:00.006+08:00

Huhuhu...this is a story of 5 girls who dreams about being a dentist but end up being: 1) Film producer, 2) Editor, 3) Cameraman, 4) Actress 5) Director..

EPISODE 1

It was months ago, when these 5 girls met by accident and coincidently, all of them were found out loss and out of queue… it was a forceful, violent evening and full of crowd…at one corner, there was a girl shouting miserable word and try slipping her 45-40-50 body through vast ocean of people…Of course, for many of people here, it was like a live or death situation. In front of these people, there is a red table, with a paper and a pen waiting for them to write their names on it. Opps not forgotten there was this man starring his slanting weird eyes to every people in the crowd. Curling his mouth while sitting behind the table with crossed leg…

Being confused, suffocating, nauseas, this girls withdrew from the lines (not lines actually) out to the corner of no human being, breathing for fresh air. Eventhough they haven’t written their names on that paper of …whatever.

“Fuihh….what a relief. I wonder will I die inside that. Better if I drawn in a sea than in that contaminated air. What an insult” said Ara. She was in the line for 3 hours ( I guess) when she already grabbed the pen, suddenly she was kicked by a girl who was twice her size and thrown out from the crowd. Still rubbing her as, she stood still not wanting to go back there.

Haha…I told you to relax..look at me.. Somehow…I will definitely have my name written niceeeeely in that paper.” said this girl who standing with her two hands folded, confidently…That was Izzati “Alamak Izzati, Sorry la, I was not able to write your name.The column you wanted has full already”, said this ‘minah’, I guess her ‘toyol’, destroying Izzati dream to become Olympic in archery Thus, making Izzati and Ara in a same boat.

But it seems that there were still 2 girls who haven’t give up yet…push….oppss being push back…they tried all their best effort to get to the paper…and the pen…fuhh, they were soaked with sweat…can’t imagine the smell..

“Wooyyy….queue up laa, don’t just jump into the line you m****n”…while pulling this man hair and these 2 cats and dog fought on the floor (wieu…how gross) until the bell rang, and the paper and the pen were not on the table anymore. That weird, barely open eye man took away the pen and the paper and sit there with both his hand shooing the crowd…and the crowd was actually grew smaller and smaller… leaving this 4 girls still standing out of choice.

Dnoor said with her messy tudung, “cis how rude that man, It leave me up to no choice but to bite him…hahaha” Nisa who still leaning over the floor, unsatisfied seem to be unable to talk.

Suddenly, Nana came out of nowhere but I guessed she had an idea…

Nana, “ Girls, only five of us left. Everybody get their choices written down already. Do you intended to stay here until tomorrow….haa??...ha???” So autocratic.

“Nooo” said all the other 4 girls spontaneously

“Good, I’m also not intended to stay here…So we will take whatever option left out. It might be good.. maybe it’s like u found a piece of chicken out from the fried mee’’ Errr…what an example.

So all of us just walk to the table…Silent….no more crowds….
Yet, there was still a paper, a pen and this man.( wasn’t he took it out?)

“Huh…let just read whatever option left there”, said Izzati

“Errr…Cooking Class…full. Badminton…no room left. Archery…full…ooo god how this can be full… Aerobic class …I guess I cannot see anymore empty line for name here. And Photography….ewww, who wanted to choose that either…yet it is full….and….and…”

“And what?” cut Ara impatiently grabbing the paper from Nana’s hand.

“owww…owww…owwww” Ara’s voice tuned disappointed

“Girls, we’ve got only Multimedia waiting our names to be written on it”

How boring…But, this is how all these 5 girls change their destiny.

To be continued…..

That’s it. Just this…I don’t know why I wanted to tell this story. But, please wait for second episode. Soory.. sudden short of ideas…

Unchangable destiny...

2009-03-29T20:17:00.001+08:00

Today, I unexpectedly found someone who know her love better than anyone else, who believe her love will find through the right way, who fight for love equally.

Today, I know, love story was not fairy tale…at least for some one else. I believe she would find her real happiness as what she wishes…And I wish her all the happiness in the world for her as my friends.

Today I realize how pathetic I am considering how much I felt what love can really do. Unable to fall in love, to keep on running and avoiding them, to not believe how far my love could reach….i just feel so pathetic…

For me, love is just a word that would stuck between my ear drum. Something I would never grasp between my fingers. Something that just feel so irony.

I sometimes put hope that somehow it would change. So, there were mornings which i woke up and believe that 'today, i would meet....' and i became stupidly anxious over something that did not came out...i really make a fool of myself. So, it does detest me when she told me her story. First sight love...over the road side...for me, it is just so superficial...

If these were something I make up, would I feel so disgusting when it come to love? Was love really pure as what people said? Would the feeling stay the same after years? If yes, why some of us keep on hurting themselves when it come to loving someone else. It is just so irony!

Why am I like this? Should I tell you? Maybe not… I keep it mine… I shall not tell anyone supposedly…This disappointments…this empty feeling of mine, this frustration…let just me bottled it up.

Somebody tell me she likes my work...

2009-03-17T13:15:00.003+08:00

I was trying to get her signature when she suddenly told me, 'I always like how u do your job'.

And i was searching for Piji's face as i thought she was talking about him. But, she turned her face toward me with a slight smile on her face.

I never thought of her who would tell me that somebody appreciating my effort and suddenly i felt, everything in this world worth if we work hard to get it. I couldn't reply her as her word did great in shocking me and i am afraid of bursting into tears in front of her.

honestly, part of me floating with happiness because at least i knew that i did great jobs, but somehow, i myself did not convinced whether i could get any better than now. Working hard wasn't my style. I'm more of logical thinker, steady and easy person.

So, hopefully, i won't disappointing her by doing some silly stuff...

ddribblinggg...weuuw

2009-03-09T02:22:00.001+08:00

Current mode!! I'm honestly tired...

Coffee....does anyone told u its bad? Let give them a flick.

2009-03-09T01:44:00.007+08:00

How many cups of coffee did u take today? Do you fel guilty sipping your thick black coffee when you really need them? How many percentage did you accept when somebody tell you coffee could cause Alzheimer later?

Haha...honestly, i am a coffee maniac myself...and i take 2-3 cups of coffee (nescafe), i don't feel guilty at all and i only take 35% that coffee cause Alzheimer.. I just love coffee....
Of course, researcher all around the world try to prove something over coffee. After hundreds of studies, researchers have concluded that for the majority of coffee drinkers, health risks from coffee consumption are actually minimal, if present at all, it would be our money...haha yokata nee!!

Though not harmful, coffee is not entirely innocent either; as a stimulant coffee can be addictive and could cause jitters and anxiety when consumed in large amounts. Coffee can also stain teeth, giving daily users a yellowed smile----->not me...my beautiful smile won't discoloured...but you can always come to us for scaling. I also advises not to take coffee before your examination as it would aggravate anxiety and might be percieved as panic attack...be carefull dear...of course you woldnt want to waste your time running to toilet!! ;P

Regular intake of coffee actually benefit us; it cause mild bronchodilation which provide more air into your lung, cause sufficient increase blood pressure to match demand thus giving Mr Brain more blood..not to forget it can also provide source of relief for those who having constipation (opps sorry)..

However, of course, if you're replacing your meal with coffee, than i cannot say anything! Researcher recommended not to exceed coffee more than 5 cups perday...If you are enjoying coffee because of the taste, then you better take the decafeinated one. Lastly, never take coffee 4 hours before bed if you intended to sleep..

Yay!!! Say 'BANZAIII' to coffeee...

I've learn patients' suffering

2009-03-07T14:05:00.003+08:00

3 days ago, i underwent minor oral surgery for surgical removal of my impacted 38 ( lower left wisdom tooth). It was done under local anasthesia, means that i was totally concious about my surrounding and what i was experiencing.

The tooth was totally embeded in the bone and none of the part of crown was actually visible. It makes the surgical harder than partially erupted tooth. the hardest part is that the the roots were in the body of mandible and were in close contact with the Inferior Dental nerve canal. Furthermore, the roots curve at the end which makes them totally hook to the bone.

It was an extremely stressful condition to actually listen to the sound of your bone being drilled and cut. eventhough they covered my eyes, i could still see when whatever instrument being held close to my mouth. I knew all the things they talk about as i also learn them. so i quite of imaging them myself...and it worse..

two fissure burs broke and one round bur got stuck in the tooth while they were trying to slice the coronal portion from the roots...oo my god..

while trying to remove the roots, they accidently poke area of the root which was nearest to ID canal, ooo my god...that was the most painful experienced i ever had...and i silently cried...huhu

But i am glad everything went well...while writing this, i actually got trismus, and can you imagine that i can only open my mouth 1.5 cm...with this big swollen mouth...haha...i am suffering..

But please, don't be afraid to remove your wisdom tooth if indicated so.

falled in love....

2009-02-28T13:02:00.002+08:00

Actually when someone asking me what is your hobby? I will definitely going to make a long 'errr' before answering anything that was crossing my mind. But when i went back and think thouroughly where did my whole free time go to waste....yes i found it.. I actually love sitting on my desk, listening to music and to be exact, i love japanese song sooo muchhh.

Not to forget, i always end my weekend watching japanese drama and movie...and i can speak a little bit of japanese...Now, that i am really into them, i started to learn japanese on my own.
Japanese language is pretty easy to learn and understand. Unlike english and malay, it doesn't have a lot of grammer. However, it's a little bit pain when it comes to remember hiragana, katagana and kanji. so i think, it would be enough if i can speak them and learn to write later...

uwahhh...

2009-02-28T12:37:00.003+08:00

Today i woke up and turned my pc on. I browsed over some of blogs and suddenly i got this silly question asking myself, 'didn't i have my own blog?' ooo my god, i totally forget that i never once update my blog since August 2008.. fuih, my friend told me once, i better off not having a blog. But i still keep this dull pages in case there is some one who looking forward to read, but i guess...nooo.

I'm really messed up and totally swallowed by my current 4th year clinical life. I'm now used not having lunch and dinner, used to be scolded by lecturers, nurses....life never been easy man.

i still remenber, the first week i was in total clinical phase, i was like a 'bulb' emitting kind of gloomy dark aura.. totally depressed not to know much things... Questioning why my hand couldn't make a small things. At that time, doing a simple composite restoration of the anterior tooth was difficult. and i ended up crying in room and traumatized not wanted to see the same patient again..huhu...

Okay, better not telling you guys this story... keep it for some other time.

2008-08-18T22:17:00.019+08:00

With Kiki from Indonesia, my closest mate during this congress

Izzati and I

Mayumi and I during the closing ceremony

Chin and Me...Mount Bromo

Me.........

So cold...

Gwalk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angkle....so delicious

Marshal my group leader from Indonesia

Airlangga University

With Tony and Phil from Taiwan

Cultural night....

Ayoooo Phill....are u really hungry...

Tugu Pahlawan on the second day

The the 'comel-est' ...izati, me and paah..

just coming back from Surabaya

2008-08-18T21:51:00.002+08:00

I don't know where to start...no word can tell the whole story and picture of memory displaying on my mind screen. It was a fabulous...extravagance...toooo nice and warm to be in Surabaya. The weather was sure a little bit of pain, it was too hot even for a Malaysian.

I was in Surabaya for a week following a conference, the Asia Pacific Dental Student Association. Honestly, that was my first experience travelling outside country. On the first day (11/08), after leaving KLIA in the evening, we arrive in Juanda international aiport at 6.30 Surabaya time. my stomac kept on growling wondering when will they meet the food. We sure were late arriving at JW Marriot hotel as everybody has started eating their dinner. I sat next to Mayumi, a Japanese and Merry, an Indonesian. That was the night before every happiness started filling this short meeting.

We had lectures, research presentation and discussion among members. It was a lot more fun than travelling alone. We went to Tugu Pahlawan Musuem Kesihatan which was actually bored...Soory LOC. But other than that were exciting and i really enjoying my self. Playing games at Ciputra waterpark, eat at 5 restorant in one night at Gwalk with Kina and Kiki. That was heaven. ooo not forgetting , the most memmorable cultural night at Univesity AirLangga. Seeing lots of people from different country and cultural in their true colour, it was a magnificant evening. Japanese with their Yukata, Korean in their baby doll suit hahah....,Taiwanese all or them were pretty and hensem.

It was really a short time when i realize that we were going back home. I'm going to regret if i were to forget even a bit of those memmory, so i try hard to keep all the picture nice and precise. I will remember all my groupmates: Marshal the chief, Merry the busiest, Kiki the closest, Caca the happiest, cute Hyung, friendly Tony, sportive Phill, Kina the DHF, Mayumi the cutest and the pretty Ain.

Ayaka - Blue Days

2008-08-11T09:19:00.004+08:00

My current song - Ayaka - Blue Days

2008-08-10T22:14:00.002+08:00

This song was the OST for a Jdorama titled Sapuri...I'm grading it as 4/5..it is really a good story which actually picturing the reality of life...example, you are a doctor, a women specifically, would you'll be falling in love with a ermmm...male nurse...a young one. You are really in love, but to make it easy, you choose other option. easier for you to answer others expectation. You won't stand out doing 'gossip' things. So, i'm appreciating every word in the song. It's sweet and touching.

Romaji

Itsumo no you ni hitori kaeri
Kagi wo sashi doa wo akeru to
"Okaeri" to kimi ga demukaete kureru nante
Awai kitai daite

Kizutsuku no wo osore
Itsumo me wo somuke nigete kita kedo
Machi de kimi no kaori kanjiru tabi
Shirazu ni furimuita jibun ga iru

Miete nai kotae ga aru to sureba
Kiete nai kimi no yasashii ude to
"Suki da yo" hoho ni sotto kisu wo shite
Eien wo chikaiatta ano yoru

Ookina kyanbasu ni futari
Hikari no tsubu chiribamete sa
Takusan keikaku tateta koto wa
Mou zenbu okonau koto mo nakute

Isogashii amari ni sora wo
Itsu no ma ni ka minaku natteta
Miageta hoshizora
Te ga todokisou de
Namida ga tomaranai no

Miete nai kotae ga aru to sureba
Kiete nai kimi to mukaeta asa to
"Suki da yo" mune ni sotto dakiyosete
Eien wo chikaiatta ano hibi

Ano toki miokutta senaka
Koe karashi tomereba yokatta no?
Kurai koukai bakari
Ikudo to naku kakemegutteku no

Miete nai kotae ga aru to sureba
Kiete nai mado no sukima kara
Mieru taiyou
Atashi no furueru kata atatamete
Me wo tojite

Kizukenakatta kotae mitsuketa

English

Going home alone as usual
When I put my key in the door and open it
I cling to a faint hope
That you’ll greet me with a “Welcome home”

Afraid of getting hurt
I always averted my eyes and ran away
But every time I smell your scent in town
I unconsciously turn around

If there were some invisible answer
Then it wouldn’t have gone away – your tender arms
And the night when you said “I love you” and softly kissed me on the cheek
And made a vow for eternity

Together we painted drops of light
On a big canvas
And made lots of plans
None of them will happen now

At some point I’ve gotten so busy
That I’ve stopped looking
At the night sky we used to look up at
Unable to reach it
I can’t stop crying

If there were some invisible answer
Then it wouldn’t have gone away – the mornings I saw in with you
And those days when you said “I love you” and softly pulled me close
And made a vow for eternity

I watched you leave then
Should I have yelled until I was hoarse and stopped you?
There’s nothing but dark regrets
That keep swirling around
Ano toki miokutta senaka

If there were some invisible answer
Then it wouldn’t have gone away – the sun
I could see through the window
Warmed my trembling shoulders
I closed my eyes
And found an answer I hadn’t noticed

Crazy

2008-08-04T00:04:00.003+08:00

Haha...ni sume yg admitted to psychi ward. Oiii behave la...

Hungry!!

2008-08-03T23:58:00.002+08:00

I'm hungry...wuhuahuahua...i'll eat all these 'big rats'...joking...These all my friends during our posting in Hosp Raja Perempuan Zainab II. It was a very chalanging attachment. Congratulation guys for passing the exam.

2008-08-03T19:43:00.002+08:00

Bounjour.... haha..ermm...i still haven't post anything before...so i guess i start with this one

Today, it's really hot outside....really hot that i started shredding out sweat... really hot that i makes me irritated in the ward. i suppose, pediatric posting which im in now should be interesting especially on the first day, but then spoiled by my emo...emo...emoooo. But, differ from medical posting previously,pediatric ward is much more warmer, colourful and calmer. i suppose, its the child power...everything they do; crying, laughing or even just staring at you is so 'kawaiiii'.

Looking at them carrying diseases when they're still small make me realize how lucky we are. won't be able to come to school, eat every delicious thing, painful procedure...but they still hanging on. How are we if we are on their shoes? their mother, i praise them for the most strongest mum in the whole universe...my mum too...mum, i miss u.

Next week, i'm going to Asian Pasific Dental Student Association held in Surabaya, Indonesia. I'm not excited nor waiting for it. I done nothing for preparation. That's happening when you have something more important in your mind and you don't really care of other thing. It's patient, patient and my patient...I really want to have fun there. if not, i'm wasting out money.

Everyday's life is like a curry...you cant always get the hot one. sometime it's too spicy, too salty even worse, you may get diarrhea. none of the single day of my life is repeating others. And today, it's a little bit bitter. Argument over something wasn't suppose to end up fighting and not talking to each other. right? we should discuss like a mature. so i felt weird when people start raising up voices and i became so 'bengang' la.. it was a discussion and i was telling her my feeling. For me it is not fair if you think that you are the only one right and other's are wrong.. people have own opinion..it's an opinion you should accept. neither were wrong...at least for me la. so...i dont know what should i do. i want her to listen to me without arguing..i wanted her to know how i felt over something, some decision we made together. but, i guess for her, its impossible. because maybe im just like a shadow around the corner.

Redha je lah...that's the only thing left. if i keep on frustrating, i will be the only one hurting. So, the morale, never thing you are the only one right. listen to other people, see them with your heart. becaue hurting them means soon, you'll be hurting your self. believe me.